Privacy is so sexy.

She no longer wants to be a circus animal.

A lone woman sits at the bar. She orders a glass of red. Jazz music is playing off a clear sound system. She doesn’t take photos, or updates her online statuses, or has her neck bent looking at her phone. She just sits with herself not thinking just being.

She no longer wants to be a circus animal. A brand to be consumed by people she will never meet. The consumption of her life isn’t to be idolized, monetized, or reduced to an aesthetic. Though she views life through the lens of beauty. This is her personal philosophy.

Privacy is so sexy.

This framework was birthed from deleting Instagram and Tiktok after 4 years of returning to social media during the pandemic. I thought the same thing when I deleted my public facing socials late 2010’s. (Can’t remember the exact year) At first I returned to social media out of boredom then rationalized my addiction by stating all business owners needed a profile on all the latest platforms.

I wanted to share my fashion not myself. Yet, the longer I stayed the harder it was to understand that separation. Was scrolling endlessly, comparing not only myself but my business aspiration, and feeling pressure to succeed in a short period of time worth the trade off?

It wasn’t.

I want to be a woman.

I want to be an adult.

As teenagers we share so much of ourselves with the people around us. We are constantly growing and changing. We want those movements to be acknowledge. It feels so good to be seen and heard. Yet, as adults we have to come to realize that there is a time and place for everything. That this need can appear rude.

I’m still learning this. I no longer share my business aspirations with anyone even my therapist. I no longer seek to validate my growth through others eyes. I’m embarrassed just thinking about the times I dominated conversations due to my need of being seen.

Privacy isn’t isolation.

Though it feels as such in our online world. Some people are natural performers and want to be under that spotlight. Thank you! I love consuming your deeply personal media.

I am simply ok with being behind the scenes. Nor do I want to be pushed into the spotlight due to my business aspiration which is a vehicle for me to live a life of an artist. What I yearn for is having the option to not digitize my personhood for mass consumption. Yes, this fucking includes Linkedin, a resume should be enough to get a job.

Privacy is so sexy because you can be anything. Mystery is so delicious! We should all have a plate of this in our digitally sick world.